Boys are not Desperate

When i was preparing for iit everytime i thought about this place i used to get a mini orgasm mostly out of adrenaline flow than out of any other hormone.I used to think of the college reputation, infrastructure, bright future, bright brains etc. never did i think about 'the ratio', lucky for me coz if i did give it a thought i might not have even tried due to it.

In my first day at college in our welcome ceremony we were told that India is developing, this year there were more girl admissions than ever before-627 boys and 87 girls.That means 15 boys on every 2 girls i thought looking around for the two.The probability of getting a girl is 0.133, my mind did a useless calculation.You see this is how our brains are wired, nobody there would have thought to be the lucky 2 or 3 or 4... for those 2 but everybody would have calculated the probability for sure.Now don't be shocked and don't you feel pity for us, we are fine.The more blue blood a college has the more is the flow of testosterone and the less is the flow of estrogen in it, this is the truth and we have to live with it, no options.

Actually after studying there for two semesters i now fully understand the government's policy for us.The main aims of the policy are 1.to eradicate discrimination on the basis of cast,creed,colour,income etc. 2.to harden(emotionally only) us for the tough world ahead.And the govt. is getting results, we now have a popular term in our campus "grass babes", this refer to those girls who cut grass in our campus and our boys go gaga over them.I read a fact that 85% men look for 19F to 25F in reservation charts of trains, i m not sure of this fact as i didn't do the survey but 100% of our boys will be elated if they just see an F in charts and i am very sure of this.

So next time you see a boy gaping at a girl please don't blindly consider it a case of eve teasing and specially not if the boy has specs, undone hair and a T-shirt proclaiming his college.Put yourself in the boy's shoes and u'll find the situation similar to a villager seeing a Las Vegas casino.

The demise of a Tormentor

Antonyms are not just for adjectives,they may be for collective nouns also!!!My roomie is a Malyali(mallu as we lovingly call them) while i am a marwari.When i told my relatives of me sharing the room with a mallu they were quite apprehensive.I was always a free flowing,easy going,a bit pompous and a fun loving guy.In short a typical marwari brat.With their crude knowledge my relatives considered mallus to be disciplined,focussed,down to earth,highly intellectual and very 'anti maverick',which they are as a matter of fact but to a lesser degree,than what is rumoured.They are not as big a fun loving species as we believe them to be.Well this roomie of mine when he came to the hostel could find anything in his room even when it was pitch dark(really impressive) but now he does well by not banging in a thing or two while walking in the room even in broad day light.

He has been committed for the past five years!!!I sometimes wonder if he had a child marriage or something and has been lying to us all along.Who cares, he hadn't had any of the insentives of being married.Though all this doesn't stop him from oggling at each and every girl around him.

Our mallu had a big fight with his lady love one night,i later heard him dealing with God for, one day without lies in return of his patch up with his girl.The next day we had our physics lab,we both slept through the alarms.I was awakend by a ruckus outside and went to see it.I asked one of my friends for the reason and that jerk joked that-the HOD of dept. of physics was dead and hence a holiday today.I beleived him and i hugged him and went to sleep!!!Twenty minutes later i received a very agitated call from my lab partner for his practical file which i had in my possession and saying that the attendence was about to be taken.Me and Jatin my roomie must have made a world record that day because the speed with which we reached the dept. was blinding.We were panting like dogs when we saw our physics HOD descending straight from heaven!!!He asked us our sections and reason for running-i gave him the requisite answers.He asked some more questions which i promptly replied.Then came the question of the day-Why were we late for the lab???Before i could answer i was told to give my roomie a chance to speak.Here is what happened then-

Roomie-(after gulping considerable amount of saliva)Sir actually there was a rumour circulating in our hostel.

HOD-Rumour!!!What rumour???

I thought my roomie can't be that stupid, pleeeze...

Roomie-(paused for a sec, gulped, looked up to the heaven and said )They said you were dead and hence a holiday today.

(This couldn't be real plz, i thought.)

HOD-(after absorbing the shock of his death) and how was i supposed to die???

Roomie-We never inquired sir you see we didn't care as long as it was a holiday(he said after a deafening pause)

HOD-(the basilisk eyes turned towards me now)Is this true???

Me-I...I don't know him sir, we have just...(the basilisk eyes were now on roomie)

Roomie-been roomies for a semester and a half Sir(Jatin the mad lover in full flow)

HOD-(boiling with anger)ENOUGH...you shameless swines, liars, bastards get out of my sight GO.

And we both ran till we put a floor between us and the basilisk. Jatin looked at me there was fear followed by shameless laughter in his eyes.

We got our attendence by saying the lab incharge that we had been talking to the HOD in regard to his health and hence were late.

P.S-In the next class test of physics jatin failed somehow, just a fact don't relate it to anything.

Luck: Ingredient or Garnish

Luck : Ingredient or Garnish

A toss is nothing but a flip of coin with the probability turning out to be equal for both the faces. Kick off, decision to bat or bowl, serve in racket games are all decided `by chance’ rather than by chance. The reason might be to provide equal footing to both the players. Just to make the game more interesting we could have it that the player or team at a lower ranking be given the slight advantage. But then if this is done we are branding the superior. The luck however marks them as equal.

How often have we seen an LBW decision wrongly given, off side going unnoticed at an initial stage & then bringing the match to the wire. This might be an error of jugdement on the umpire’s part but luck for the playing sides, good or bad. Of course, it sometimes changes the course of the match altogether. How can we forget the fateful India - Australia test match when Austarlia seemed to have 13 onfield players!!! But then again each coin has two sides.

When both the sides play equally well then who wins?? May be the side which is more superstitious. A pinch of chaos and a teaspoon of uncertainty is what luck contributes in the recipe of a good game.

I Don't Know

I Don't Know

I have a decent enough G.K., i mean ,not the BQC champions' like but still good.Though i am a bit embarrassed to say but a girl, yes a girl ,makes me realize that i am a dud.She is not super intellectual or something but, she just makes me know what i never knew that, i didn't know.

I don't know why i wake up from the deepest of slumbers when her name is announced in the class attendance.I ,in whose blood vessels confidence flow dominates the blood flow,start stammering in front of her.Why my hands automatically move to ruffle my hair when she looks at me?Why a simple hii or a smile from her keeps me bouncing for the day?Why her group dances are solo performances for me?Why i suddenly started to feel envy from those guys who could dance well?

I don't know why i started hating a certain separatist leader a little less?Why i started looking out for her name in the library register and attendance register?Why any show of emotion on her face keeps me pondering for its origin?Why i became indifferent to other 'good' girls of the college?Why could i never talk freely with other gals when she was around?Why i have to rack my brain for long just for a proper breaking of ice?

I don't know why i remember each and every SMS from her in their chronological order?Why i reread every message before sending it to her?Why every unanswered SMS makes my belief still more firm that our country really has some worn out satellites?

I don't know why i want to hate her, and why don't i succeed in it?Why all my laughs, nowadays ,end in sighs?Why i want to avoid the smiling faces of my friends?Those affectionate bastards asked me, why don't i forget her, i might get someone much better.How can i forget her when all the parameters for a 'good' girl for me are set by none ,but her.For once in life i pray to make me believe in absolute rather than relative grading.

I saw her and fell for her,

I met her and tried for her,

I talked to her and craved for her,

I was ignored and obliviated by her,

I was shattered and pained by her,

I wanna hate her, but then why do i still love her???