Still Spinning

                                The first time ever did i ask a girl for a dance. She was in my arms, i could feel the warmth of her body, unlike a raging, arousing fire it was a soft soothing one like that of a glowing ember. Her gaze burning deep into me wanting to ask a thousand questions, i could tell that she was feeling shy due to the close proximity of 'our' dancing parents. But for me, i didn't notice them i was too busy fishing for my reflection in those two magical brown orbs, her dance was having a grace reserved exclusively for the feline family, her physique so dainty and so delicate i felt my hold might bruise her. I could smell her shampoo and never ever did i love 'pantene' more...
                                 The music stopped nd she ever so gently made aware of this, standing on her toes to reach my ear her warm breathe the only thing that could have and which eventually did awake me from the trance. Something was stirring in my heart for the past two days and all i was left with was a spinning totem in my breast pocket...

**dedicated to all those people with impressive memories :-P  ;-)

The Phone Ring

                                On receiving the news of the arrival of the boy's parents we all were standing outside  in the corridors, anticipating big tears and loud cries or atleast some 'action'. There was none. We expected our hostel warden would be hackled or physically manhandled but there was no such commotion. She lost her husband to the country early in her married life and he was her only reason to be alive after that. With perfect features of his father, she found her beloved husband smiling through his mischiefs. His thinking, his reasonnings were all well ahead of his age and thus he managed to wiggle out of a tight corner if he was ever caught for a mischief. Excelled in studies, did well in sports nd finally got through 'hell' and came here to iit.

                                She had always had her fair share of altercations with god, born with looks unfit for her family's economic background, an attitude unfit for her orthodox parents and loved by a man whose parents considered her unfit for all the above reasons. They thus ran off and married, no honour killing this time though. They had started living a happy life with each other. Her life shifted an upward gear with his arrival and just as she started to have second thoughts about her enimocity with him that she received a phone call. A funeral later she had stopped beleiving in him altogether and also made the 'little him' an atheist. If she was blessed it was just with an indefatigable heart. She started picking up those bits and shreds and just as she was about to make a b'ful collage she again got a phone call...

                              For three days and three nights she sat on the ganga ghat for the divers to find his body, for three days her hopes were alive to find him there, somewhere. Strayed might be but safe and sound. On the fourth day the divers succeeded but the god failed. She didn't identify the body but meekly surrendered to it. He was given a funeral along with all his belongings and then a splash later the phone again rang but no one was there to pick it this time, no one...

God, she is angry again!!!

Some of you might have been lucky enough to have dealt with girls but luckier are those who have had a chance to deal with angry girls...

Girls might roam around saying "beauty isn't just skin deep" but every girl really knows the depth of her skin. The more blessed a girl is with this depth the more she knows how to get angry and the higher would be her rate of being angry per conversation will be.

Boyzzz really live in world of fantacy, they beleive in a lot of false notions-

BELIEF- Girls are very fickle minded and they have no decisiveness at all.
REALITY- Girls are very determined, they get angry not because we did something but because they wanted to be. It seldom is our fault but it always is their will. And don't be happy if you somehow manage to appease her, it is never your ability to do so, but its just that she got bored of being angry.

BELIEF- Girls do not analyze things and jump straight to the verdict.
REALITY- Girls are very intelligent and boys are very naive, they believe this, so better we also believe it. Their analytical abilities are really out of the world. They ask you a question, you give them an answer and they can at the spur of the moment give the details of the exact processes which our brain underwent to reach the answer. They always know why we gave that answer, how we gave that answer, why were we so glib or why did we stammer while giving that answer and what would we have given if that other girl had asked the same question. While we rascals usually don't even listen to the full question let alone give a thoughful answer. They think that they know all this stuff, so we better believe it yet again.

BELIEF- Girls don't have a sence of humour.
REALITY- Keep in mind there is nothing in this world like 'logical joke', it would either be a logic or a joke so the definition of jokes for them and hence for you is-cute and silly(plz don't read it as illogical and stupid) things.

BELIEF- Its your hardwork and karma which made you successful.
REALITY- Behind every successful man there is a woman. Perfectly true coz if you can stick to one woman for this long you got to be a consummate liar, a good actor, docile, an expert problem solver and an intelligent fool, enough to make you and remain successful for a life time.They made you realize all these hidden powers of yours. Thank all of them when you are successful, Tiger Woods did...

Lets face it boys, we never like a girl next door unless ofcource she is Elisha Cuthbert to whom we literally drool for. Love for a 'tadka dal' is much more than a 'boiled dal' although we know very well which one's gonna keep us healthy for longer time. This world would be quit a place not to live without this b'ful yet 'intelligent' species.


**Dedicated to all my friends who got the participation certificate of suffering from their own special friend/s...

Eight Steps to Glory

He came to my room a bit flustered and delivered the sentence which requires a lot of courage from boy's side-I said it to her, now boyz r really idiots and they think that what they are thinking and what others might perceive it as will synchronize perfectly.I couldn't have guessed 'her' as his her changes every month.And now it was my turn to get flustered. His her turned out to be my her, actually one whom i wanted to make my her.
Me and her, his her now, are not even on talking terms anymore. I never proposed to her and hence she never rejected me. But i guess this both happened through our eyes. It has been ages since i saw those big black eyes of hers. What if they confirm the lie that i have forced myself to believe for so long.
So he came to me with this big news.He started to speak about her , his her and i saw myself in his eyes. The zeal in his voice, the shine of his eyes and the increase in his cardiac output when he spoke about her.I was obviously very much interested im his marvelous feat and wanted t keep the success story for my records. He summarized it as-

STEP 1- Pick one gal or one at least more to concentrate upon.
STEP 2- Try to grab the opportunities to grab her without her chipmunk friends.
STEP 3- Get her e-mail id first.Those silly LOLs and ROFLs and smilies help a lot.
STEP 4- Increase the frequency of the chats and send some nice e-mails.
STEP 4- Ask for her number on the context of wishing her happy b'day or Independence Day or to console the troubled soul if thats the case.
STEP 5- Discuss your, the country's and the world's good and the bad with her.
STEP 6- The after spending scores of rupees on the msg packs and special tariffs and may be sometimes even SIM changes, say it to her without thinking and planning ahead.Glory will be urs.AMEN

All this while i felt something had snapped finally, if that was my heart or the string which tied me to 'his her', i don't know. I was happy for my friend and also for the fact that a failed relationship didn't tarnish my f'ship with him.
Friends are much more important than these silly 'hers'. You lose one her and all these will enjoy finding lot many hers for you a but a lot many hers can never ever find a single friend for you.
Ok, enough of this, senti shit,I admit i m super duper jaealous like hell and definetly i will GPLize the lucky bastard...
I went to bed that day cursing that afternoon of july in the admin office.

Boys are not Desperate

When i was preparing for iit everytime i thought about this place i used to get a mini orgasm mostly out of adrenaline flow than out of any other hormone.I used to think of the college reputation, infrastructure, bright future, bright brains etc. never did i think about 'the ratio', lucky for me coz if i did give it a thought i might not have even tried due to it.

In my first day at college in our welcome ceremony we were told that India is developing, this year there were more girl admissions than ever before-627 boys and 87 girls.That means 15 boys on every 2 girls i thought looking around for the two.The probability of getting a girl is 0.133, my mind did a useless calculation.You see this is how our brains are wired, nobody there would have thought to be the lucky 2 or 3 or 4... for those 2 but everybody would have calculated the probability for sure.Now don't be shocked and don't you feel pity for us, we are fine.The more blue blood a college has the more is the flow of testosterone and the less is the flow of estrogen in it, this is the truth and we have to live with it, no options.

Actually after studying there for two semesters i now fully understand the government's policy for us.The main aims of the policy are 1.to eradicate discrimination on the basis of cast,creed,colour,income etc. 2.to harden(emotionally only) us for the tough world ahead.And the govt. is getting results, we now have a popular term in our campus "grass babes", this refer to those girls who cut grass in our campus and our boys go gaga over them.I read a fact that 85% men look for 19F to 25F in reservation charts of trains, i m not sure of this fact as i didn't do the survey but 100% of our boys will be elated if they just see an F in charts and i am very sure of this.

So next time you see a boy gaping at a girl please don't blindly consider it a case of eve teasing and specially not if the boy has specs, undone hair and a T-shirt proclaiming his college.Put yourself in the boy's shoes and u'll find the situation similar to a villager seeing a Las Vegas casino.

The demise of a Tormentor

Antonyms are not just for adjectives,they may be for collective nouns also!!!My roomie is a Malyali(mallu as we lovingly call them) while i am a marwari.When i told my relatives of me sharing the room with a mallu they were quite apprehensive.I was always a free flowing,easy going,a bit pompous and a fun loving guy.In short a typical marwari brat.With their crude knowledge my relatives considered mallus to be disciplined,focussed,down to earth,highly intellectual and very 'anti maverick',which they are as a matter of fact but to a lesser degree,than what is rumoured.They are not as big a fun loving species as we believe them to be.Well this roomie of mine when he came to the hostel could find anything in his room even when it was pitch dark(really impressive) but now he does well by not banging in a thing or two while walking in the room even in broad day light.

He has been committed for the past five years!!!I sometimes wonder if he had a child marriage or something and has been lying to us all along.Who cares, he hadn't had any of the insentives of being married.Though all this doesn't stop him from oggling at each and every girl around him.

Our mallu had a big fight with his lady love one night,i later heard him dealing with God for, one day without lies in return of his patch up with his girl.The next day we had our physics lab,we both slept through the alarms.I was awakend by a ruckus outside and went to see it.I asked one of my friends for the reason and that jerk joked that-the HOD of dept. of physics was dead and hence a holiday today.I beleived him and i hugged him and went to sleep!!!Twenty minutes later i received a very agitated call from my lab partner for his practical file which i had in my possession and saying that the attendence was about to be taken.Me and Jatin my roomie must have made a world record that day because the speed with which we reached the dept. was blinding.We were panting like dogs when we saw our physics HOD descending straight from heaven!!!He asked us our sections and reason for running-i gave him the requisite answers.He asked some more questions which i promptly replied.Then came the question of the day-Why were we late for the lab???Before i could answer i was told to give my roomie a chance to speak.Here is what happened then-

Roomie-(after gulping considerable amount of saliva)Sir actually there was a rumour circulating in our hostel.

HOD-Rumour!!!What rumour???

I thought my roomie can't be that stupid, pleeeze...

Roomie-(paused for a sec, gulped, looked up to the heaven and said )They said you were dead and hence a holiday today.

(This couldn't be real plz, i thought.)

HOD-(after absorbing the shock of his death) and how was i supposed to die???

Roomie-We never inquired sir you see we didn't care as long as it was a holiday(he said after a deafening pause)

HOD-(the basilisk eyes turned towards me now)Is this true???

Me-I...I don't know him sir, we have just...(the basilisk eyes were now on roomie)

Roomie-been roomies for a semester and a half Sir(Jatin the mad lover in full flow)

HOD-(boiling with anger)ENOUGH...you shameless swines, liars, bastards get out of my sight GO.

And we both ran till we put a floor between us and the basilisk. Jatin looked at me there was fear followed by shameless laughter in his eyes.

We got our attendence by saying the lab incharge that we had been talking to the HOD in regard to his health and hence were late.

P.S-In the next class test of physics jatin failed somehow, just a fact don't relate it to anything.

Luck: Ingredient or Garnish

Luck : Ingredient or Garnish

A toss is nothing but a flip of coin with the probability turning out to be equal for both the faces. Kick off, decision to bat or bowl, serve in racket games are all decided `by chance’ rather than by chance. The reason might be to provide equal footing to both the players. Just to make the game more interesting we could have it that the player or team at a lower ranking be given the slight advantage. But then if this is done we are branding the superior. The luck however marks them as equal.

How often have we seen an LBW decision wrongly given, off side going unnoticed at an initial stage & then bringing the match to the wire. This might be an error of jugdement on the umpire’s part but luck for the playing sides, good or bad. Of course, it sometimes changes the course of the match altogether. How can we forget the fateful India - Australia test match when Austarlia seemed to have 13 onfield players!!! But then again each coin has two sides.

When both the sides play equally well then who wins?? May be the side which is more superstitious. A pinch of chaos and a teaspoon of uncertainty is what luck contributes in the recipe of a good game.

I Don't Know

I Don't Know

I have a decent enough G.K., i mean ,not the BQC champions' like but still good.Though i am a bit embarrassed to say but a girl, yes a girl ,makes me realize that i am a dud.She is not super intellectual or something but, she just makes me know what i never knew that, i didn't know.

I don't know why i wake up from the deepest of slumbers when her name is announced in the class attendance.I ,in whose blood vessels confidence flow dominates the blood flow,start stammering in front of her.Why my hands automatically move to ruffle my hair when she looks at me?Why a simple hii or a smile from her keeps me bouncing for the day?Why her group dances are solo performances for me?Why i suddenly started to feel envy from those guys who could dance well?

I don't know why i started hating a certain separatist leader a little less?Why i started looking out for her name in the library register and attendance register?Why any show of emotion on her face keeps me pondering for its origin?Why i became indifferent to other 'good' girls of the college?Why could i never talk freely with other gals when she was around?Why i have to rack my brain for long just for a proper breaking of ice?

I don't know why i remember each and every SMS from her in their chronological order?Why i reread every message before sending it to her?Why every unanswered SMS makes my belief still more firm that our country really has some worn out satellites?

I don't know why i want to hate her, and why don't i succeed in it?Why all my laughs, nowadays ,end in sighs?Why i want to avoid the smiling faces of my friends?Those affectionate bastards asked me, why don't i forget her, i might get someone much better.How can i forget her when all the parameters for a 'good' girl for me are set by none ,but her.For once in life i pray to make me believe in absolute rather than relative grading.

I saw her and fell for her,

I met her and tried for her,

I talked to her and craved for her,

I was ignored and obliviated by her,

I was shattered and pained by her,

I wanna hate her, but then why do i still love her???